Quote of the Day

“I guess you should have worn underwear today.”

~Shira Arielle as Natalie Noir in Eye Spy

In the first round of this spoof of rival espionage agents, Shira’s character gets the better of Melissa Blanc by slowly unraveling her short white dress while she is eating lunch at an outdoor café. Now Paige was far from the best actress I’ve worked with, but I did enjoy her expression of concern as she keeps her legs crossed and covers her breasts. Shira delivers the line mocking her enemy, and pats her on the head with sarcastic empathy.

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Comedic Private Eye

Last weekend, I was watching the 1968 movie “Inspector Clouseau” that had Alan Arkin playing the title character. It had me thinking how I have always been amused by the bumbling detective character type, the incompetent sleuth who somehow manages to be the hero in the end. Another good example is Frank Drebin from Police Squad/Naked Gun immortalized by Leslie Nielsen.  In my video productions, I think the lady who could best emulate this persona is of course Lydia Lael.

With this on my mind, our blog contributor e32100 recently made a post for a story idea that would be a sequel of the video To Catch a Thief.  I would like to share in its entirety, because it is a fun read and contains possibilities to re-create this set up in a future production.

Lydia is now a Private Eye (after being fired from her last job) & spots Tara walking into a designer clothes shop. Lydia follows Tara in the hopes of catching her shoplifting. Because Lydia is dressed in a trench coat & trilby, she decides to change her clothes to look like another ordinary customer so that Tara feels safe to commit a crime. Tara is dressed in a fabulous outfit. We see Tara browsing the clothes rails. Lydia is changing clothes/disguises so we see her in various states of dress & undress.

Then Tara goes towards a door with a sign on it saying “STAFF ONLY”. Lydia is staring at Tara. Tara turns around. Lydia ducks. Tara turns back to the door, opens it, enters the storeroom, closing the door behind her. Lydia thinks that this is her chance for revenge by catching the criminal who made a fool her resulting in losing her previous job. Lydia moves towards the door, cautously she opens it, seeing no sign of the crook Tara, she enters the storeroom.

The storeroom is full of mannequins/shop window dummies. Some of the mannequins are very life like when they are dressed with the latest designer fashion, hair (wig) & makeup – other are of an older more basic design, for that reason they look like plain plastic. The storeroom also has clothes rails (on wheels) with expensive clothes ready for sale. Lydia thinks that Tara is not just going to shoplift just one or two expensive dresses but a whole truck load – & in broad daylight.

There is the sound of foot steps approaching. Lydia sees a member of staff coming & because she only dressed in her underwear she panics. Quickly because she is standing behind beside a shop dummy/mannequin who is wearing similar underwear Lydia strikes a pose the same as the dummy. The shop assistant is carrying in her hand an expensive necklace & is looking for a dummy to put it on.

The shop assistant stares at both the dummy & Lydia for a few seconds says “Who dressed this thing in last season’s lingerie?” . “Say who vandalized this one by drawing on it” referring to Lydia’s tattoos. The shop assistant then sticks her finger in her mouth to wet it & then rubs Lydia’s tattoos to see if they will rub off the same way a mother would try to remove dirt from her child’s dirty face. The tattoos don’t rub off. The shop assistant gives up. She says “I’d better remove these old rags before the owner sees them on display” & then start to remove Lydia’s underwear. Lydia is frozen in her pose. After a bit of a struggle & the assistant complaining that these new life like dummies are harder to work with than old ones you could just pull to pieces to get the clothes on & off. Lydia is now completely naked in front of the assistant. The assistant then says staring at Lydia’s public hair “OMG they are really trying to make these things really realistic now. This one even has a hairy pussy – & it needs to be trimmed!” Then the assistant walks away to get a pair of scissors. Lydia decides she had better leave before the assistant returns!

Lydia is still naked apart from the expensive necklace.

Lydia see another door. Lydia now is so desparate to escape she almost runs through it & doesn’t care what is on the other side – just hoping it is freedom.

Lydia is now standing standing naked apart from the expensive necklace in an alleyway. To her left at the end of the alleyway there is a busy street & to her right is network of other alleys & quiet side streets. The door behind her is now shut.

For what seems forever her gorgeous naked heroine is frozen standing still, her perfect buttocks pressed tight against the door (this of course makes her perfect formed breast more noticeable), shivering with cold & mainly fear. Her nipples are erect. This not the first time she has been locked outside naked. The last time was also because she tried to arrest the master criminal Tara. Lydia spent time in the local police cells, but was released with a caution & a warning that if she ran around in public naked anytime in the future she would be in serious trouble, as the local sheriff & district attorneys ran on the political platform of “wholesome family values”.

There is a security camera just above the door. The security guard who is meant to be monitoring the cameras has just come back from a coffe break. He sees Lydia naked apart from the expensive necklace. He recognizes the necklace as the owner of the shop told him that, he would loses his job if this neclace was stolen. He rushes to the door. Our heroine is knocked down by guard opening the door so quickly. Before she can say anything the guard puts handcuffs on her. Making a quip about her not needing matching bracelets but they suited her more than the necklace which didn’t belong to her.

Our heroine try to explain but by now the guard has a tight grip on her & take her to the manager’s office, hoping for a big reward.

The manager is not alone she is busy talking to a familar face. The familar face is Tara. It is explained that Tara is the owner, who has just dropped by to check that everything was being run smoothly & that the expensive necklace was being safely guarded.

Lydia & Tara recognize each other. Lydia tries to explain but Tara dismisses all the events of there previous meeting to her employees as fantasy & tells the manager to call the police & the guard to get a pair of rubber gloves. The reason for the gloves are of course the fact Lydia’s beautiful body maybe naked, but it still had hiding places & there was other expensive jewellery in the store that might of gone missing.

The police arrive. Lydia is taken to jail – still naked. The police use the fact that Lydia is trying to wriggle free to securely man handle her.

The trial is quick – Lydia left the store (from a back exit – without an alarm sounding in the security office.) with the necklace & was naked in public (Public Indecency) the video from the security camera & the witness statements of the guard, the manager & Tara (a fine upstanding, law abiding, business woman). Lydia will have to spend a long time in prison making friends with her cellmates.

Now, this would obviously be a very detailed production. If I could rent some kind of store front space, that would be excellent. Although I might have to improvise and look into more of a warehouse or office, and see about picking up mannequins.  I love the idea of Lydia as a private eye, on the trail of her elusive nemesis, Tara. Probably I would simplify such a story, while retaining the concepts of Lydia going into a disguise, and even posing as a nude mannequin. I could see her being discovered by Tara, and Lydia has to remain frozen to keep from blowing her cover. That would lead to some brilliant comedy, as Tara takes a closer interest in the “mannequin”.

From there, the action could pick up again with our not-so-private eye following the criminal and eventually getting them both into a series of trouble. Like the suggestion in the post, it would probably end in Lydia finding herself arrested as well, or perhaps instead of Tara, for a final bit of irony. I think there is a lot of good stuff here, and certainly a possibility for a summer project.

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Outtakes Video: In Like a Lion…

I have put together a clip that contains some extraneous scenes from the video “In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb”. It runs about 4 and a half minutes. There are the deleted frames where I caught Danielle’s clothing on camera, after her character has already lost them.  And also, when she first started to undress, I did not realize she still had on her underwear.

There are a couple bits that have her off camera, but I thought what she was saying and how she was preparing to do the scene, was fun.

The sample of music features Peanuth O’Toole’s introductory “Spring is in the Air” and the contrasting guitar version.

One afterthought I had, at the end of video, I wonder if anyone was watching from that parked trailer.

The clip can be downloaded at the link below:

Outtakes – In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb

Enjoy!

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In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb

Recorded at the end of March, I titled this video “In Like a Lion, Out Like a Lamb”, featuring the always photogenic Danielle. The expression has to do with how the month usually starts all fierce and blustery, but then ends more mild and Spring-like. But it also reminds me of Danielle’s character, in a way, as she starts out the story confident and full of optimism, but finishes quite humbled and in the most pure and vulnerable state… completely bare!

The story is pretty much a celebration of the new season, beginning with Danielle commenting on what a beautiful, sunny day it is. In fact, so beautiful, that she decides to walk to the stores to do a little shopping. However, once she is at the mall, she has an unexpected misfortune when she undreses in a changing room. All of her clothes have disappeared, perhaps stolen like some April fool’s prank, and she is left with no other option but to sneak outside to make her way back home.

I want to mention, the scene where she presumably takes off the items she was wearing happens off camera. It is implied action, but done more so as a matter of practicality as there was no actual clothing store at the location, and it would be challenging to get away with shooting this in front of other customers.

But also, after the scene fade-in and exciting reveal, Danielle does have a line about her clothes gone missing. She even references some mysterious girl who might have snuck off with them. Unfortunately, the angle I shot at when she gives that line, showed her dress and flip-flops and everything right on the side. It was too much for me to allow her to talk about losing her clothes, when they are in plain view. So I had to cut that scene. It will be featured in the outtakes video.

More to the point, shooting the scenes in a very public location was not without risk. Even when she starts out and walks into the mall in her nice dress, I was aware of people watching, cars slowing down in the street. During the first instance when she is naked, a couple of people seemed to be taking an interest from the middle of the mall plaza. I was grateful to have Danielle’s girlfriend along again, as she intercepted and kept them from bothering us. She was a pretty helpful look-out during this shoot.

Another concern is that nude scenes taking place outside in broad daylight tend to go pretty quick. In other words, I do not have the luxury of lingering around and giving Danielle the chance to break into some long-winded monologue. We did capture some wonderful moments, to be sure. This is just to say, we had to shoot each scene, pack up and then get out of there. As a result, the running time for the whole video is not as long as I would have liked it, and I did stretch out some establishing shots to help fill the gap. These are complimented by suitable spring-time sound effects.

An obvious and fair comparison can be made between this video and the one I shot in September, Mystery Shopper. They both use a shopping mall as a centerpiece for the location. However, with Sativa, we shot on an early Saturday morning and limited our scenes to just outside the doors of various places. In this video, we were able to walk through the inside of the tiny mall, even squeeze in a bit of nudity before running outside. From there, the story takes Danielle to other scenic spots along the road as she tries to run back home.

Sativa of course is a better actress, and was able to include more improvised quips and comments, even getting in some classic physical comedy. But I think Danielle hit her stride about midway through the outdoor scenes, and she does come off as plenty cute, in my opinion. The other consideration is that this video was shot on a Wednesday afternoon with people around. Some of these “extras” do appear in the video, as well as numerous cars passing. I hope this element adds some excitement to make the production a fun one to watch.

The music featured was composed by Peanuth O’Toole. Opening up with a pastoral movement of strings and melodic woodwind accompaniment, I wanted to evoke the feeling of spring’s renewal as Danielle starts her day. This track is used in a couple of places in the first half, leading up to when she first loses her clothes. At my request, Peanuth also provided an alternate version that replaces the wind instrument with electric guitar. Soon the bass and drums kick in for a more upbeat and invigorating track. I use this at the climax of the video, leading into the end credits.

The running time is just under 9 minutes and it is available at my clips4sale store.

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