This is a breaking Narrow-minded News special report.
Bananas Grimble, the notorious leader of the Grimble Gang, has today announced his candidacy for President of the United States.
Best known for devising schemes to strip attractive women naked and leave them embarrassed, Bananas has recently spearheaded initiatives such as the Grimble Scouts and Grimble University. The latter is a private college where female students receive a reduced tuition rate for attending in the nude.
The announcement was immediately met with outrage from feminist organizations around the country. A spokeswoman for Hillary Clinton was quoted as saying, “Free speech and citizen participation have no place in presidential politics!”
When reached for comment, Bananas simply shrugged and expressed that he was too busy to respond, instead searching for a news infobabe reporterette to give his first sit-down interview.
Stay tuned for more updates from the campaign trail.
Happy Independence Day, and God save America.